As for changing his mind, I dont think you can do that im afraid but I would certainly keep the door open for him. Seriously hon don't let him bully you in to doing something YOU don't want. I was sleeping with the father of my baby for about a month or so untill i found out i was pregnant and he is 21. ... a father embarks on what Mariella Frostrup calls “the extraordinary epiphanies of bringing up a child”. He may be the father but he does not need to know right now because there is so much going on in your life. He is 20 and his father is a pastor. or if anyones experienced this do men normally change their mind when the babies born? To give you the best experience, BabyCentre’s website and emails use cookies and similar tracking systems to personalise the content and ads we provide to you. ?Please leave your answers and comments below! 2. 1997-2021 All rights reserved. As the others have said, do not let him pressure you into an abortion you don't want. The idea that including the father on the birth certificate makes it easier for him to get custody is a misconception. It's your choice please don't let him bully you. ... all of your together i will put up on Facebook you should see my woman .not bad for little dick loser hey as you say .keep cocking your ass up in pubs I’m sure you find that fun and your big wage at the coffee club ha ha .and your wifeys ha ha . You have a lot of time to consider your options. Doesn’t engage him in discussion, never asks our son anything about what’s going on in his teenage life. ... "When I found out I was pregnant, my partner made it clear to me that he wasn't ready to be a dad. My heart hurts, and he is already talking to someone new. The people we have told are very supportive of us keeping the baby. If he chooses not too, then say I don't want your money or your involvement with the child. You have to do what's right for you and baby. He told me he wasn't going to be apart of my child's life and that I needed to have abortion. It is worse with our 16 yr old son. What can I do? We are continuing to live together, because we both don’t have the money to move. 15 Things To Do If Someone Doesn't Want To Keep The Baby Plenty of mothers who have an unplanned pregnancy end up coming to terms with their status as a parent and end up wanting to keep the baby after all. To keep my boyfriend, I got rid of my baby. Keep the lines of communication open with this 'man' and with luck he may come round and wish to be involved in the future. Tell your friends and parents and get your support network in place. Birth certificate Paternity. We subscribe to the HONcode principles of the, Terminating for your partner will not save your relationship, Know that reluctant dads can change their minds, Pregnancy symptoms you should never ignore, Breastfeeding: the trick to a comfy latch, My partner doesn't seem excited about our baby. I'm 10 and a half weeks pregnant and 19. I agree with the others! I wouldn't worry about his feelings too much, if he was that bothered he should have been more careful. Do You Keep A Baby By A Man Who Doesn't Want The Baby?? To keep my boyfriend, I got rid of my baby. I have no idea how to go about this or what i can say to him.Please help! You tried to learn more information, and you showed the judge that you take your job as a parent seriously, and you want to do the best job possible. What should I do? I just found out im pregnant today and I told the father I wanted to keep it. What is wrong. I'd find a unbiased counselor (your ob/gyn may be able to give you some recommendations) to explore your options and make a decision that feels right to you. We use your health information to make our site even more helpful. But to me He said he doesn't want nothing to do with the child and doesn't want his family to know.I think it's because of ethinc reason. I wish I'd never told him (he's 25 btw), but it was the right thing to do. This time I'm more terrified about killing my baby than I am keeping it. He also has other kids and his fiance died 4 months ago and we started dating shortly afterwards. I told him that i don't want an abortion and he said that if i don't have an abortion he wont support me in any way or want anything to do with the baby. I wish I'd been strong enough to stand my ground and be a single mother than to let him have his way and then for him to end the relationship anyway because he wanted to forget I'd ever been pregnant rather than support me through the loss of our child. We subscribe to the HONcode principles of the, Breastfeeding: the trick to a comfy latch. That I'll be a bad Mum, that I won't be able to cope etc. By clicking the button, you agree to our policies and to get emails from us. If your child’s deadbeat father doesn’t take a parenting education seminar? I want him listed as the father on her birth certificate and I also want her to have his last name. It doesn’t sound like Mr. Bottle-Popping Club-Hopper is attempting to deny paternity. I don’t want him anywhere close to my kid because he’s psychologically abusive and doesn’t even want her at all, because … If you want to keep the baby, then you keep him/her!!! A few years back I fell pregnant and at only 6 weeks along miscarried it was a rough time for us both and especially my boyfriend who at that point wanted a child. This is your opportunity to pass on your and your family's love and to share your personality, history and … Keep your child.. give him a choice. My partner and I separated before I realised I was pregnant. I have struggled on whether or not to keep my baby when it's born , however now i've got very attatched to my pregnancy and i don't want anything more. By Piyush Jain Nov 07, 2016. At the very beginning me and the father of the baby agreed to have an abortion, however we haven't talked untill last thursday and before then when i told him i was pregnant. We were very devastated that we were pregnant and I told my sister, he told his brother and wife. All he has to … My advice is to talk to a therapist/councillor to work out your options. As cupcakes said, the CSA will MAKE him support his child financially. I was sleeping with the father of my baby for about a month or so untill i found out i was pregnant and he is 21. I have struggled on whether or not to keep my baby when it's born , however now i've got very attatched to my pregnancy and i don't want anything more. The #1 app for tracking pregnancy and baby growth. I'm 10 and a half weeks pregnant and 19. BUT he is the father of the child, and you have to think about how the child's life will be with an unsupportive father. I think you should proceed and make your decisions as if he wasn't in the picture, as you don't know whether he'll change his mind or indeed if you do want him to be part of your life. He also just had a one year old baby with another' casual ' relashionship and recognised the little one as his own. Sweety you can do this on your own dont ever let a man tell you to have an abortion if he cant take responsibililty for his actions then so be it you and baby will be grand on your own as you have each other. If he does, it still doesn’t undermine all the work that you’ve done on your own. You can all but try your best with telling him about scan dates etc and maybe text him with pics he may come round but be prepared if he doesnt. I don't want my son to have any type of negative influence by him therefore i don't want my ex to be involved in my son's life. In reality, your baby's father can formally request custody or visitation at any time—whether he's on the birth certificate or not. Fathers' rights In some cases the father wants the baby while the mother wants an abortion The abortion issue is largely devoted to dealing with the rights of the foetus and the mother. We both wanted to keep the baby but decided not to rekindle the relationship. The #1 app for tracking pregnancy and baby growth. As Father’s Day approaches, it may be time to rethink the question of a father’s rights and responsibilities, to take some of our most cherished and unexamined slogans and see if they are fair. I can’t look at him in the same way anymore, and I don’t feel the love for him that I once did. She can attempt — through all the mechanisms women have always known about — to end the pregnancy. I'm having a baby by my ex and he isn't a good guy. You cannot make him have any involvement with baby and given his reaction you may not want him to until he has grown up. I said "NO" I am keeping it. I am so glad that I made my own choice though and continued the pregnancy. My Baby father decided that he doesn’t love me anymore after 10 years of being in a relationship with me. If he doesn't want to be involved its his loss and the baby may well be better off without him x. If you want this baby then like it or not he will have to contribute as he if 50% responsible for the baby being conceived! The father of my baby is 25 and I’m 17. This time around isn't remotely the same, he doesn't want our baby, we've been together over four years and are both 24. You might leave him. DS2 10lbs 7oz - out early due to growing on the 13lb line! “It's her body” means it is her, the woman. I grew up without my biological father and would not want that for my little girl. If he still doesnt want to know, then you and your baby are better off without him. Let's say the mother doesn't want the pregnancy to continue but the father does. However, if you ARE keeping the baby, please be aware that, by making this decision, your child will probably not have much of a father. More . Not. He showed his true colors after i became pregnant and now i fear for myself as well as any guy i may date later on in life because of the threats he made. Ultimately it's your decision whether to keep your baby or not. I made that mistake and while the father of my child got to walk away (we broke up two months after the abortion because he couldn't deal with my "mood swings") and forget about it, I'm the one who has spent the last eleven years grieving and hating myself for it. But he has options (vasectomy) if he really doesn't want another kid and doesn't want to force women to have abortions. 1. Dont let him tell you otherwise. Unfortunately the world is full of guys like him! Abortion isn't an option for me, but is there any way i can make him change his mind? You can still achieve your goals, even if you have this baby, but you have to realise what your goals are, and how hard it … Doesn’t go to many of our sons games to watch him play, doesn’t take an interest in the sport our song is playing. He won't have a choice in the matter. xxx. Make an adoption plan for your child. You may have other family members who would also like to share photos or a letter to the baby. Big hugs ((((((((((())))))))))))). Parents' tips: why I'm glad to be pregnant. My partner and I have argued non-stop since I became pregnant. I am 23 and just found out last week I am pregnant with my boyfriends baby. It was a response to an email I had sent to a friend telling her I was 12 weeks pregnant and that the father was someone I had met during my summer abroad. All contents copyright © BabyCenter, L.L.C. I am sure that you will find a better person that will be suited to be the father of your child. Ironically, our relationship is ruined anyway. It’s a real point in your favor. He didn’t know I … He agreed … My boyfriend is in Jail and won't be out in time for the birth of our daughter. Scarring him for life? He said he didn't want to be around my child and it was my decision to keep it. My partner doesn’t seem interested in my pregnancy. Maybe send him scan pics and even a birth pic if he still hasnt made an effort. Have the baby, parent the child yourself, and take advantage of the support system you DO have. I’m not saying whether this is right or fair. In a variety of ways, having the baby entails conditions and obligations that he doesn’t want. My wife doesn’t want a child – but I do. It is not wrong to keep it from him because he has left you and and has no plans of getting back together with you. My husband, his dad, never spends time w our son. He might leave you anyway. The only decision you have is whether you’re going to keep the baby. Oh my heart bleeds. Here are some potential reasons why one partner doesn’t want a baby when the other does. I dare say he is scared witless at the prospect of being a father at 21 maybe give him some time? It doesn't matter to my boyfriend though was very depressed and upset. It's devastating when your kids' father doesn't see them. Can I give my baby her fathers last name if he is not present at time of birth? The father doesn't want to know nothing about it as it was quite a casual relashionship for him. You may have the abortion and be in this position again next year. He keeps saying that I can't do this, that he's going to kill himself. If you’re not, then you can terminate your pregnancy and your man simultaneously. I don’t know how to do this without him. Ask a lawyer - … tell him making you have an abortion would scar you physically and mentally for life,a nd if he didn't want to risk having kids he should have double-bagged his cock every time he had sex. He says if i go through with the pregnancy i'll be scarring him for life. She may realize the high risks of getting … My partner won't talk to me about our relationship problems. Sometimes couples will conceive a baby b. I am now married to the father of my baby and things are getting better and better for us all the time. The father of your baby can fill out the birth father's keepsake booklet or write a letter too. They'll take it direct from his wages before it even gets to him, and pay it to you. Casual relashionship for him letter to the father does n't want to be pregnant he should have been more.... Get your support network in place the babies born up without my father! Body ” means it is her, the woman him scan pics even! Can formally request custody or visitation at any time—whether he 's 25 btw ), but it the. The child yourself, and pay it to you on your own the matter I want him listed as father! Subscribe to the father I wanted to keep the baby, parent the yourself! 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