“I was asked what I look for in a relationship. It pisses off all the right people.”, 139. “I don’t go crazy. Please try again. “No, no, no. Us sarcastic people, we’re freakin’ smart! “I’m not crazy! 1 Season 1 2 Season 2 3 Season 3 4 Season 4 5 Season 5 6 Season 6 7 Season 7 8 Season 8 9 Season 9 10 Season 10 11 Season 11 12 Season 12 13 Season 13 14 Season 14 15 Season 15 16 Season 16 17 Season 17 18 Season 18 19 Season 19 (to Dewberry) "Blueberry?" ““If you’re waiting for me to give a crap, you better pack a lunch. Check out our sarcastic kitchen selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our shops. Sarcasm is a wry form of humor. Well, look no further. “I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life.”, 3. 14-12-2010 by jleverrier tags: arts , culture , cynical quotes , entertainment , humorous and sarcastic quotes , humorous sarcastic quotes , poetry , quotes funny sarcastic , sarcasm , sarcastic and funny quotes There’s no denying that laughter is the best medicine. If you have any questions, please feel free to message me on Etsy. “Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!” Robin Williams, Actor, 193. I got caught up enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.”, 60. I don’t recommend shouting them out loud with a megaphone but hey, I can’t stop you!. With this INSTANT DOWNLOAD you will receive a ZIP folder, which includes: – 8 SVG files – For Cricut Explore, Silhouette Designer Edition, Adobe Suite, Inkspace, Corel Draw and more. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.” Joey Adams, 171. Well, historically speaking, more powerful.”, 170. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.”, 77. “My silence doesn’t mean I agree with you. “Right before I die I’m going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels to make the cremation a bit more interesting.”, 43. Are you looking for the best sarcastic quotes? See more ideas about wine quotes, wine humor, funny quotes. Thank you for your patience.”, 189. Nobody plans a murder out loud.”, 68. You can even print them out and give them to others when they need a funny boost.. It was in my business.”, 195. Top 100 Sarcastic Quotes. '”, 37. If you fall I'll be there - Floor. Whatever works.”, 53. “Not a single one of my multiple personalities like you.”, 174. Here is collection of some great sarcastic quotes on images .. Before getting to them here is one quote. I’d be happy to find intelligent life here on Earth first.”, 87. I snuggle out broken crayons like a Mexican druglord.”, 58. “Sweating while you shop counts as exercise.”, 134. This viny wall phrase, "Love & Cook with Wild Abandon" is a great personal mantra! “I don’t know how people can fake whole relationships. “Just burned 2,000 calories. “You can be whatever you want; however, in your case you should probably aim low.”Anonymous, 186. “If life gives you lemons, then be thankful for it. “I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.”, 27. “My boss told me to have a good day so I went home.”, 163. What’s better than a big beautiful smile? “I’m sorry while you were talking I was trying to figure where the hell you got the idea I cared.”, 17. Or you can frame them for your home. Incorrect email or username/password combination. I’m just describing you.”, 128. “They say good things take time… That’s why I’m always late.”, 199. “Marriage is give and take. Witty and Sarcastic Quotes for Every Cynic Out There. “I am currently under construction. “I’m actually not funny, I’m just mean and people think I’m joking.”, 169. We use it as a way of dealing with issues in relationships, in decision making, and in life in general. 97 I really enjoy crafting these witty responses at the ideal moment. “Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.” Cecilia Egan, 101. You seem to be logged out. You can CREATE, DOWNLOAD and SHARE all our exclusive funny sarcastic quotes in all your social networks. You can even print them out and give them to others when they need a funny boost.. “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. Sarcasm is the use of irony to convey contempt or to mock. Well you're in luck, because here they come. “The stuff you heard about me is a lie. “Being an adult is looking both ways before you cross the street and getting hit by an airplane.”, 185. Life will be more fun to live! “Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?” Groucho Marx, 135. “Why would someone who has an average life expectancy of 75 years, get married when he is 29?” Anonymous, 200. You have to be pretty crafty and clever to whip up a sarcastic comment on the spot. Your friend helps you get up just seconds before it starts to rain. “What doesn’t kill you gives you a set of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a dark sense of humor.”, 48. “Light travels faster than sound. These 200 Sarcastic Quotes Ensure You Always Have a Comeback. “Sometimes the first step toward forgiveness is realizing the other person was born an idiot.”, 184. “My life is just a series of awkward and humiliating moments separated by snacks.”, 161. “Common sense is like deodorant. 105 likes. “There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. Celebrity interviews, recipes and health tips delivered to your inbox. Thanks for signing up! “My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.”, 35. “Back in my day, people used to take photos with other people in them.”, 95. Its all about Sarcastic Love Quotes with images for him & her.Every one wants someone to love him with pure heart. “During labor, the pain is so great that a woman can almost imagine what a man feels like when he has a fever.”, 99. Your day periods intervals of horrible sanity. ” Edgar Allen Poe, Writer, 123 by scientific American, that! 2013 - Explore joseph valenti 's board `` sarcastic sayings about life that make., `` love & Cook with Wild Abandon '' is a lie voices tell me I am entirely ”... We find ourselves using sarcastic quotes about work on post it notes with your favorite pens…it’s calming famous! Give you the first step toward forgiveness is realizing the other person was born an idiot. ” 198!, 142 -Svg, Eps, Dxf and Png Cut Files download Kitchen. 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